009: That was crap, have another go (read below) OR See how it should be done (turn to 010)

Gonna have another go at Freeway Fighter. Space Ghost went back to his home planet with a dull feeling of a lack of fulfillment. In his place Future Phil pledges to do his best to help out the poor villages.

Skill: 10
Stamina: 33
Luck: 10

Firepower: 9
Armour: 31

So a bit harder than space ghost, with a car the villages have put slightly more effort into cobbling together but not much.

Future Phil decides to investigate that early shotgun blast that Space Ghost ran away from. Turn out it was a thoroughly nice bloke called Johnson fighting some feral dogs. He advises Future Phil not to stop at the petrol station up the road that Space Ghost got mugged at. Future Phil thanks him and continues on his way.

AGHHHHH

Future Phil loses his first compulsory vehicle battle and is blown to smithereens (the dice throws were ridiculous - child Phil would have cheated 100%)

A child cries back at the village in memory of Future Phil. Thankfully Mega Phil is ready to make the next attempt

Skill: 8
Stamina: 31
Luck: 8

Firepower: 11
Armour: 31

At least this time the villages have put a bit of effort into the car. Good that they seem to have an unlimited supply of Dodge Interceptors...

Mega Phil destroys the first vehicle attacker without taking any damage. Mega Phil reckons that if he stays in his car as much as possible he will be ok. Using that logic, Mega Phil ignores the opportunity to get out an examine an abandoned ambulance.

FOR FCUKS SAKE

Mega Phil drives over a booby trapped bridge and is blown up. How many sodding random early deaths does this stupid book have?!

Back at the village a child shrugs her shoulders, tiring of the constant stream of idiots screwing up the mission. Meanwhile Ultra Phil tentatively steps towards the next Dodge Interceptor of the assembly line, nervously trembling a little.

Skill: 11
Stamina: 32
Luck: 9

Firepower: 7
Armour: 31

Worst car yet. Brilliant.

Despite knowing the muggers are there, Ultra Phil goes to the early petrol station anyway, just to take out his annoyance at his SHITTY CAR on that poor thug. 

And now it is compulsory early vehicle battle time. Great.

Ultra Phil is destroyed. He fired all of his rockets with not one hitting. More RIDICULOUS dice roles and his time is up.

Screw that stupid sodding village.

RIP Grumpy Ghost, Future Phil, Mega Phil and Ultra Phil

Never forget